im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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