Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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