he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
ttyl tear gas
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
