..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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