some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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