is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
