Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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