Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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