i think i have herpe
just one?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
