we have pet lesbian snakes
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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