so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
