alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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