i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
