Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
