Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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