I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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