Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Someone came in the potted fern
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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