How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
