He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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