its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
