So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
