Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you will always have a special place in my vag
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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