Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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