For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
