I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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