I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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