i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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