Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
