if i can run in heels then i can drive
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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