Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I believe in your delicious
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
