unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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