dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
