I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
