Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
