TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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