dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
