I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
