Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
