ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
