i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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