Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
