A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
