That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
