id be glad to
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He passed out mid-signature
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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