If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
