Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
