If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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