Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
