just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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