So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
